Panic Attack Insomniac

I can't sleep

For in the dark I panic

Fear consuming my soul

And I can't stand it

I sit up and scream

A silent sound nobody hears

Trembling in vain

To the same dream I've had for years

Too much loss

In too short of a life

It stabs at me

Like a dull edged knife

I have thoughts and dreams

About things nobody knows

Like where do we really go

When it's the end of our show

My heart races

At a pace much too fast

I sit here wondering

How much longer can this last

Memories fill my head

So many things I'd like to change

If I could just go back in time

Choosing with things to rearrange

Being grateful for what I have

Never replaces what I've lost

Your death was inescapable

I'm still dealing with its cost

Grief knows no boundaries

In the silence I will weep

As the darkness surrounds me

And everyone else is fast asleep

Copyright Kerin Lee 2012, All Rights Reserved

Please do not use without my written permission.


(Vigil from October 15th)